So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
