there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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