I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
