Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
