Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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