We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
