we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
