How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
