***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
