this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
