i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
