So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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