Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
