she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
