I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize