i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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