no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
