I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
