i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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