just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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