just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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