She said her name was "party"
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
