Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just gargled with NyQuil
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
