I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
