He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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