worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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