Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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