Sacagawea was the original milf.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
