oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
