jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
