i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
