using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
