i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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