Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
