Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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