theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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