Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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