We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize