I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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