You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Let's get the cat blown out
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
