That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
