Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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