We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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