Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
