girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
