Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize
