Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
