fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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