2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Found your dick twin last night
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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