Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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