all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
