check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
