Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
There's even glitter on my cock...
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