Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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