Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
