Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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