If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
