so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize