Do you still have your period?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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