I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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