Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
