you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
