i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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