hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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