The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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