I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
