Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize