so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
