he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
