R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
